There are references to the male orgasm everywhere in our society, in TV shows, movies, cartoons and all sorts of clever advertising… and they’re all referencing ejaculation. Many of them refer to a man “finishing” and then falling asleep, or leaving the women unsatisfied. Almost everyone thinks of the male ejaculation as the peak sexual experience for a man… and almost everyone thinks that a man’s orgasm leaves him depleted and/or tired.
Porn is almost entirely centered on ejaculation. Most videos lead up to and end with a man’s cumshot – usually on some part of a sexy woman’s body (while showing as little of the man as possible). There are compilations out there that will show us cumshot after cumshot after cumshot… Porn would have us believe that the cumshot is the peak male sexual experience, and each time you and I watch porn that has a cumshot in it, our brain forms a deeper connection between cumshot and pleasure.
We live in a cumshot culture…
To me that means a culture of instant gratification. Almost anything we want is a few clicks away on our phone… We’re in a culture of credit cards, dating apps and social media that are designed by cognitive psychologists to be as addictive and as instant gratification-oriented as possible… we have drugs, alcohol and netflix….
So many ways for us to choose instant gratification over going for something that is much greater… So many ways for us to lose and “leak” our energy… similar to ejaculation…
The point of Semen Retention is to bring more energy into your life.
But if you’re constantly losing your energy through excess alcohol, social media use, porn use, caffeine, tinder, lack of sleep etc… then a semen retention practice will only take you so far.
Semen Retention is a Lifestyle, and Awareness is a Sexual Technique, because improving your sex life will improve all areas of your life, and improving other areas of your life will improve your sex life…
Your sexuality doesn’t live in a box.
Your life is the sum of thousands of tiny decisions, and your life one month and year from now will be the cumulative sum of all the decisions you make between now and then.
**Remember that semen retention is more than just not ejaculating, it’s about awareness of you entire life.
Right now I want you reflect on your life – specifically about any habits or actions you take that drain your energy (other than sex). This could be anything, so here’s a list of possible examples: alcohol and/or substance use, habitual netflix, eating junk food, not sleeping enough, smoking cigarettes, staying in an unhealthy relationship, eating too much sugar.
Choose something in your life that feels like it substantially drains your energy, and with that in mind, write down your answers to the following questions:
- How is this impacting your life?
- Would you be happy with your life one year from now if you kept this up?
- What would your life be like without this?
Commit to changing the rest of this week. Right now. Write it down.
Use the painfully pleasurable sword of discernment to cut away things that do not serve you.
Taking away something that regularly hurts you will do more for your life than adding a new thing that helps.